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Post by gibson on Apr 13, 2020 5:16:18 GMT -5
Do you have anyone in your life who suffers from addiction? How do you handle their behaviors and their treatment of you and their family? I have a person who lies nonstop, is manipulative and cons everyone for money, abandons relationships, goes to and from jail, and it's even hard to be on the outside trying to look in on his life.
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Post by Sandra on Apr 13, 2020 5:21:10 GMT -5
Someone very close to my heart ends up in jail every few years over his addictions. He also walks away from every relationship in his life, continually picks the wrong women, and never says out of trouble.
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Post by Raven on Apr 13, 2020 5:53:27 GMT -5
Someone in my life has many of these personality traits and it hurts me because my heart keeps getting broken. I don't know if I can do anything to help him anymore. It's been 15 years.
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Post by Miss. Aimee on Apr 13, 2020 9:22:23 GMT -5
I've been on the outside of things too, but I think the constant getting hurt is a risk I have to take. If I want to be there for him, I have to keep allowing myself to get hurt until he gets better.
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Post by Chris Johnson on Apr 13, 2020 9:23:59 GMT -5
I was that guy. I always drank. People were always worried about me. I didn't listen. I wanted to do my own thing. I didn't want any bosses. I was in charge of my own life. And the more people showed me love, the more I withdrew. I know I didn't treat any of you like this in person, but I'm sorry for being a jerk in my past. If you've never been addicted to a substance, consider yourself very lucky. If you've been patient enough to stick by someone going through this, thank you. It takes us a very long time to learn.
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Post by Miss. Aimee on Apr 13, 2020 9:24:28 GMT -5
Chris JohnsonWhat finally made things click for you? What finally made you want to change?
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Post by Chris Johnson on Apr 13, 2020 9:26:04 GMT -5
I never had one eye-opening moment. It was years of going broke, losing jobs, moving around, losing friends, being over 30 and having no family or kids, and getting sick of having no good memories. I went to a lot of doctors, talked to a lot of people, had love and support here, got back into car-related hobbies, and found I could occupy my time with things other than alcohol.
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Post by Miss. Aimee on Apr 13, 2020 9:35:50 GMT -5
Were you able to rebuild the relationships you lost?
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Post by Chris Johnson on Apr 13, 2020 9:36:30 GMT -5
Yes and no. I'm still not completely better. I still get distant and avoidant. I still don't now how to stay in one place. I still get scared when I get close to people. It's going to take a long time to fix me.
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Post by OfficiallyJayy on Apr 13, 2020 10:05:43 GMT -5
CJ, I'm really proud of you for working so hard.
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Post by graceunknown on Apr 13, 2020 11:13:09 GMT -5
It's OK if we don't know how to help. Even medical professionals struggle to help. You just have to stay there for your friend, but also don't be an enabler.
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Post by yellowbanana on Apr 13, 2020 11:13:33 GMT -5
^That's why it gets hard. Is being too kind enabling there behavior? When do we get to tough love?
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Post by graceunknown on Apr 13, 2020 11:14:03 GMT -5
It depends on the individual and your situation. You have to weigh your options carefully.
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Post by ladybre on Apr 13, 2020 11:59:35 GMT -5
It's hard for the person going through this themselves and all their friends watching it happen. I don't have training in addiction treatment, but I would say to try to be an emotional rock.
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Post by yellowbanana on Apr 13, 2020 12:00:20 GMT -5
I'm stuck in a hard position because I don't want to enable one friend anymore, but I can't cut ties. I don't want him to end up back in jail, but he might be safer there.
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