Post by Tampaboy19N on Jul 30, 2006 23:09:56 GMT -5
(from an email I got)
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX - I am impotent
AMC Gremlin - I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
AMC Marlin - My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Audi 80 - I thought the 4000s was too fast.
Austin-Healey 3000 - I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Buick Riviera Convertible - I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.
Buick Electra - Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD
30-year old technology.
Buick Reatta - I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
Cadillac Cimarron - I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an
uglified Chevrolet.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
government
Chrysler 5th Ave - Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of "stuff" in my wheel well
Dodge Charger - Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted
for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better
than no convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a
lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in
the shop 280 days per year.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely independent, just like all my
friends with Jeeps
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
Corp.
Lotus Esprit - Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an
eighteen-wheeler
MGB - I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST - Why accelerate? Because you can!
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Fury - I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can
carry your car in my trunk as a spare
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise
would be inaccessible to me
Renault 2CV - I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
inferior than Isuzu
Triumph TR6 - I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys challenge
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
VW Rabbit GTi - My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish
Algebra.
VW Jetta - I stopped smoking when I got a real job after
college. I swear.
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Volvo 240 - Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and
pull out in front of this guy to slow him down.
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX - I am impotent
AMC Gremlin - I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
AMC Marlin - My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Audi 80 - I thought the 4000s was too fast.
Austin-Healey 3000 - I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Buick Riviera Convertible - I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.
Buick Electra - Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD
30-year old technology.
Buick Reatta - I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
Cadillac Cimarron - I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an
uglified Chevrolet.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
government
Chrysler 5th Ave - Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of "stuff" in my wheel well
Dodge Charger - Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted
for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better
than no convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a
lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in
the shop 280 days per year.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely independent, just like all my
friends with Jeeps
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
Corp.
Lotus Esprit - Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an
eighteen-wheeler
MGB - I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST - Why accelerate? Because you can!
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Fury - I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can
carry your car in my trunk as a spare
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise
would be inaccessible to me
Renault 2CV - I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
inferior than Isuzu
Triumph TR6 - I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys challenge
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
VW Rabbit GTi - My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish
Algebra.
VW Jetta - I stopped smoking when I got a real job after
college. I swear.
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Volvo 240 - Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and
pull out in front of this guy to slow him down.
