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Post by Raven on Apr 7, 2020 20:51:42 GMT -5
I don't know if there's a real word or term. But it's something I've been saying I have. I'm everyone's door mat. I accept abuse, take abuse, let me come for favor after favor, leave for years, come back when they need something, and I don't mind that I help people. I mind that I'm treated so badly afterwards.
"No good deed goes unpunished' = the story of my life
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Post by Controlled on Apr 8, 2020 5:20:09 GMT -5
I get how you feel. Do you think you let this happen often enough for it to have a name, or to where it's out of your control?
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 5:20:29 GMT -5
That's a good question. I feel like I could stop, but there's the fear of losing people in my life.
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Post by Controlled on Apr 8, 2020 5:20:55 GMT -5
Ask yourself how much of a positive relationship you "have" if they aren't ever there for you when you need them.
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Post by Great Divide on Apr 8, 2020 6:29:15 GMT -5
You don't deserve to be treated that way. Relataionships should be mutual. Friends should treat each other equally.
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 6:38:25 GMT -5
Ask yourself how much of a positive relationship you "have" if they aren't ever there for you when you need them. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Relataionships should be mutual. Friends should treat each other equally.
I try not to say these people are "bad." So... I guess I take more crap over time.
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Post by Hannah721 on Apr 8, 2020 6:39:24 GMT -5
It all comes down to what you feel is OK for yourself. If you are OK in these types of relationships where you do most of the giving, then OK. But by making this post, I think you aren't.
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 6:40:47 GMT -5
Right. It's a mix and it depends on the pesron. I do have it in me to be generous and to take on more requests than I actually want to do. I know I need to learn how to say "no" too.
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Post by Hannah721 on Apr 8, 2020 6:41:16 GMT -5
It's ALWAYS OK to say no, AND, it gets better. You don't have to say, "No because..." You don't have to justify your no with a reason.
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 6:41:48 GMT -5
That's hard. I always feel like I have to answer to people, or offer answers, even when they aren't asked of me.
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Post by aur0rafungirl84 on Apr 8, 2020 7:52:47 GMT -5
That's hard. I always feel like I have to answer to people, or offer answers, even when they aren't asked of me. You don't HAVE to. You just seem generous and helpful by nature. |
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 7:54:51 GMT -5
Yeah I'm trying to find a medium between being helpful and letting people wipe their feet all over me.
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Post by aur0rafungirl84 on Apr 8, 2020 8:52:01 GMT -5
Maybe if you put down your foot, people will start taking you seriously. Fair warning, they will probably get mad.
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Post by Raven on Apr 8, 2020 8:52:20 GMT -5
That's my fear. I'm also a people pleaser.
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Post by aur0rafungirl84 on Apr 8, 2020 8:52:55 GMT -5
Ultimately, it's up do you. Do you want to feel used forever, or do you want to have more equal relationships?
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