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Post by mynameisfred on Feb 1, 2019 14:41:16 GMT -5
I have a lot of friends from work that have children, but most of them are either one year older or one year younger than my son. I’m not sure if it’s an excuse I’m making or if it’s logical, or perhaps it’s a bit of both but it feels bad regardless. When he does end up “making a friend” at the park, he has SO much fun. He really enjoys being around other kids, but I don’t make much of an effort to put him around other children.
I tthink it’s my own fear that when I get together with friends from work outside of work, we may not click. I’m worried about rejection. I’m also a major homebody and as soon as anyone is one town in either direction of me, I don’t want to make the drive. But it can feel like both my son and I are missing out on good friendships.
I’ve never been one to reach out, so unless someone reaches out to me it just doesn’t seem to happen. I know I need to be more deliberate but struggle to do so.
Partially venting and also willing to take any suggestions or advice on how to get my son in more social situations. Our second child is now almost 4 weeks old and even when he’s sleeping, our eldest is constantly trying to interact with him. This problem will be much better when our youngest is about one, but that’s a long ways away. Still, it would be nice for him to have some friends closer to his age.
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Post by xea989 on Feb 1, 2019 20:40:25 GMT -5
I have a lot of friends from work that have children, but most of them are either one year older or one year younger than my son. I’m not sure if it’s an excuse I’m making or if it’s logical, or perhaps it’s a bit of both but it feels bad regardless. When he does end up “making a friend” at the park, he has SO much fun. He really enjoys being around other kids, but I don’t make much of an effort to put him around other children. I tthink it’s my own fear that when I get together with friends from work outside of work, we may not click. I’m worried about rejection. I’m also a major homebody and as soon as anyone is one town in either direction of me, I don’t want to make the drive. But it can feel like both my son and I are missing out on good friendships. I’ve never been one to reach out, so unless someone reaches out to me it just doesn’t seem to happen. I know I need to be more deliberate but struggle to do so. Partially venting and also willing to take any suggestions or advice on how to get my son in more social situations. Our second child is now almost 4 weeks old and even when he’s sleeping, our eldest is constantly trying to interact with him. This problem will be much better when our youngest is about one, but that’s a long ways away. Still, it would be nice for him to have some friends closer to his age. Did you have many friends before kingergarten who weren't in your family? I think you're worrying too much. I think you can put him in pre-k and he'll start making friends at age 4. |
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Post by Night on Feb 1, 2019 20:41:00 GMT -5
What's wrong with the park friends? You can talk to the park parents.
Honestly I think your kids are too young to form meaningful relationships. Are you more worried about them or yourself.
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Post by mynameisfred on Feb 1, 2019 21:01:09 GMT -5
Did you have many friends before kingergarten who weren't in your family? I think you're worrying too much. I think you can put him in pre-k and he'll start making friends at age 4. I can’t really remember that far back. We’re planning on homeschooling though, and also planning to move out of state in the near future. |
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Post by mynameisfred on Feb 1, 2019 21:04:12 GMT -5
What's wrong with the park friends? You can talk to the park parents. Honestly I think your kids are too young to form meaningful relationships. Are you more worried about them or yourself. We just don’t go to the park often enough, though that will change as my youngest gets older and the weather gets better. More worried about the kids. Im not unhappy in the relationships I’ve kept and I’m not unhappy being hermit-ish. I don’t expect them to form meaningful relationships, but I think he could benefit from being around people his age. He likes to play with others and he also isn’t talking as much as he should be. I think being around other children may encourage him to explore with his speech more. |
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Post by jaron.aharoni on Feb 1, 2019 21:17:47 GMT -5
Did you have many friends before kingergarten who weren't in your family? I think you're worrying too much. I think you can put him in pre-k and he'll start making friends at age 4. I can’t really remember that far back. We’re planning on homeschooling though, and also planning to move out of state in the near future. so no school for them at all? maybe it would be good to wait until after you move then. so they don't get attached to friends and then have to say goodbye. |
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Post by mynameisfred on Feb 1, 2019 21:57:20 GMT -5
so no school for them at all? maybe it would be good to wait until after you move then. so they don't get attached to friends and then have to say goodbye. Just home schooling. The move will be soon enough he won’t know he said “goodbye.” He’ll still be under 3-3.5 so I’m not all that worried about it. He has family he’s going to already have to deal with that with, but we’ll still be visiting home a few times a year. |
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Post by Kevin Kurson on Feb 1, 2019 22:19:29 GMT -5
so no school for them at all? maybe it would be good to wait until after you move then. so they don't get attached to friends and then have to say goodbye. Just home schooling. The move will be soon enough he won’t know he said “goodbye.” He’ll still be under 3-3.5 so I’m not all that worried about it. He has family he’s going to already have to deal with that with, but we’ll still be visiting home a few times a year. then why push friends now? Maybe you can just let him play with whoever at the park. |
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Post by blackmagic on Feb 2, 2019 6:49:41 GMT -5
I think the park is a good idea. Keep letting him socialize on his own. Don't MAKE him make friends.
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Post by Night on Feb 2, 2019 6:50:12 GMT -5
Does he ever express being lonely?
Church friends?
Library friends?
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Post by Patriotic Kerry on Feb 2, 2019 6:50:44 GMT -5
I think the only *friends* I had at that age lived down the block and I never saw them after we moved out of my childhood house. Kinda upsetting.
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Post by ScarsFromThePast on Feb 2, 2019 6:51:34 GMT -5
I still randomly miss the friends I had when I was 3. Then we moved and I never saw them again because my mom didn't know how to keep in touch. DOesn't help that I can't FB them since she doesn't remember last names.
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Post by Topanga on Feb 2, 2019 12:23:13 GMT -5
I would wait until you have a more permanent residence. For now, temp park friends are fine.
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Post by mynameisfred on Feb 2, 2019 12:37:09 GMT -5
Does he ever express being lonely? Church friends? Library friends? No, he doesn’t seem lonely, but he’s intrigued anytime he sees any other young children at the grocery store, etc. We don’t go to the library. We have so many books at home. And we’re not religious. Interestingly enough my husband was debating joining a church after we move for the community aspect of it, but I can’t in good conscience do that. I used to go to church with my best friend because she’s super religious, but that didn’t feel dishonest because I was going with her but to go alone as a family when we’re not believers in god seems dishonest and gross. |
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Post by Holden on Feb 2, 2019 12:51:32 GMT -5
Does he ever express being lonely? Church friends? Library friends? No, he doesn’t seem lonely, but he’s intrigued anytime he sees any other young children at the grocery store, etc. We don’t go to the library. We have so many books at home. And we’re not religious. Interestingly enough my husband was debating joining a church after we move for the community aspect of it, but I can’t in good conscience do that. I used to go to church with my best friend because she’s super religious, but that didn’t feel dishonest because I was going with her but to go alone as a family when we’re not believers in god seems dishonest and gross. Does hubs have the same non-religious views? |
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