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Post by iamjumbo on May 23, 2015 15:02:10 GMT -5
So what body part where you thinking of when you made the name jumbo? LOL all of me. THAT body part's name is derrick, as in oil field derricks, reaching up to the sky. many, many, years ago, my friend and i did the carnival one summer. walt came up with jumbo for my carnival name. since everything about me is jumbo, it stuck, for over forty years so far |
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Post by boots on May 26, 2015 8:48:17 GMT -5
^You made me rofl.
What did you do for memorial day?
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Post by iamjumbo on May 27, 2015 2:09:48 GMT -5
^You made me rofl. What did you do for memorial day? nothing. i had thought about going to the state park for a picnic, but, it was raining. i don't do holidays, especially the last day of a holiday weekend. that is when all of the loonies are out, as well as all of the cops i guess i can occasionally be unintentionally humorous. it's just sad that i can't make a living from being INTENTIONALLY humorous |
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Post by Cheap Trixie on May 28, 2015 5:45:37 GMT -5
What's your favorite joke?
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Post by iamjumbo on May 28, 2015 10:21:48 GMT -5
What's your favorite joke? that is really hard. it's been so long. i don't like jokes that aren't going to offend somebody that needs offending. a couple of the lesser ones, i guess: Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!" A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window... He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor? "Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer." Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having s*x with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?" She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!" |
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Post by xea989 on May 28, 2015 11:14:43 GMT -5
LOL
The last one is the best.
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Post by iamjumbo on May 29, 2015 1:34:38 GMT -5
LOL The last one is the best. i'm a bit partial to the first one, but yeah, the third one is funnier than hell |
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Post by Mr. White on May 29, 2015 5:45:35 GMT -5
Do you wear hats?
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Post by Charlie B Goode on May 29, 2015 5:45:46 GMT -5
Do you wear a cross?
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Post by Mr. White on May 29, 2015 5:46:01 GMT -5
What happened the last time a cop pulled you over?
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Post by CrazyAgent on May 29, 2015 6:50:43 GMT -5
Darn I thought we'd get you up to 1,000 posts this month
What's your highest post count on a forum?
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Post by iamjumbo on May 29, 2015 7:02:13 GMT -5
until my mid thirties, i was seldom without a hat. it was a stetson for going out, and a ball cap for the daytime. my favorite hat had a hand with a raised finger on the bill i got out of the hat phase, primarily because i got tired of my hair looking like i had wings |
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Post by iamjumbo on May 29, 2015 7:03:07 GMT -5
no. i don't do jewelry of any kind except my watch |
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Post by xea989 on May 29, 2015 8:27:36 GMT -5
Ever had a romantic e-relationship?
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Post by iamjumbo on May 29, 2015 13:34:25 GMT -5
Ever had a romantic e-relationship? yes, unfortunately. like a fool, i allowed something to get way out of hand |
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