Post by A Dream Is A Wish (Old) on Nov 11, 2014 16:01:57 GMT -5
Just read this article and found it really interesting. I completely agree with it.
www.dailydot.com/opinion/street-harassment-dudes-greeting-dudes/
Here's some highlights, but you should read the whole thing:
www.dailydot.com/opinion/street-harassment-dudes-greeting-dudes/
Here's some highlights, but you should read the whole thing:
The common explanation is that street harassment—yes, including the “nice,” non-explicitly sexual kind—is ultimately about asserting male dominance over women, forcing them to give men their time and attention. It wouldn’t make sense for a man to infringe on another man’s mental and physical space in that way.
But I think there’s also a little more going on here, and it has to do with the ways in which men are socialized to view women not only as sexual objects, but as their sole outlet for companionship, support, and affirmation. They’re socialized to view women as caretakers and entertainers, too.
Researchers have noted before that men’s friendships with other men—especially straight, white men’s friendships with other men—tend to lack the sort of intimacy and openness that we generally associate with close friendships. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, men want these things from their friendships as much as women do.
Perhaps as a result, men (as well as women) tend to confide more in women than in other men. And because prevailing social norms may make it difficult for men in monogamous relationships to have close, intimate friendships with women besides their partner, the person that they end up confiding in the majority of the time is their girlfriend or wife.
But I think there’s also a little more going on here, and it has to do with the ways in which men are socialized to view women not only as sexual objects, but as their sole outlet for companionship, support, and affirmation. They’re socialized to view women as caretakers and entertainers, too.
Researchers have noted before that men’s friendships with other men—especially straight, white men’s friendships with other men—tend to lack the sort of intimacy and openness that we generally associate with close friendships. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, men want these things from their friendships as much as women do.
Perhaps as a result, men (as well as women) tend to confide more in women than in other men. And because prevailing social norms may make it difficult for men in monogamous relationships to have close, intimate friendships with women besides their partner, the person that they end up confiding in the majority of the time is their girlfriend or wife.
Men who approach women in this way may or may not be consciously aware of that gendered difference. It may be simple social learning—throughout the course of their lives, women have tended to pay attention to them in this way and other men haven’t, so they’ve learned to approach women and not men. A more cynical (but still probably accurate) explanation is that men know quite well that women are taught to indulge them, and so they choose women as the targets of their attempts to make conversation with strangers.
There’s also the rarely-spoken fact that many men are almost as afraid, if not as afraid, of other men as women are. If a man pesters a woman on the street, she is very unlikely to respond with physical violence. Other men are more likely to.
In this way, toxic masculinity—which perpetuates the idea that men should respond to irritation, anger, or offence with physical violence—hurts men, too. But the solution is to work to dismantle toxic masculinity, not to pester those who are less likely to respond with physical violence.
There’s also the rarely-spoken fact that many men are almost as afraid, if not as afraid, of other men as women are. If a man pesters a woman on the street, she is very unlikely to respond with physical violence. Other men are more likely to.
In this way, toxic masculinity—which perpetuates the idea that men should respond to irritation, anger, or offence with physical violence—hurts men, too. But the solution is to work to dismantle toxic masculinity, not to pester those who are less likely to respond with physical violence.
Over and over again we are told that men just want to “brighten” our day or make us “feel good.” But this was never about women’s feelings. If it were, then the moment mass numbers of women started speaking out about street harassment, these men would collectively go, “Oh, oops, I guess that didn’t make you feel so good.”
Instead, they insist over and over again that we actually do like it or that we’re actually too sensitive or that we would like it if only the guys were hotter or that feminism has ruined us.
Instead, they insist over and over again that we actually do like it or that we’re actually too sensitive or that we would like it if only the guys were hotter or that feminism has ruined us.
Shame on me...