I'm Getting Fatter.

[Fatal Rewind]

I just got the classic Atari 2600 game of Fast Food via trade out of my personal box today. Nice to have another Telesys game, as I was a fan of theirs. If anyone's familiar with Space Jockey, it's somewhat the same, with objects coming at you, scrolling from one side of the screen to the other. In this game, though, instead of shooting everything, you eat pretty much everything, as you control Mighty Mouth (whoever that is) and eat all kinds of junk food that comes your way, except for the purple pickles, which don't digest well. After every 500 calories, a purple pickle is removed from your total, but if you grab six then the game ends. In no time flat food flies at a very fast pace, so it can be difficult, as you can play several quick games in only a 10 minute time frame. Also, at the end of every round, it says "YOU'RE GETTING FATTER" on the screen (which was unusual for a 2600 game to have much text in it, or any at all back then!), it says "BURP!" when you eat your sixth purple pickle, and "CLOSED" instead of "game over", which is a bit original.

The Vectrex didn't originally have speech capability, but of course there are ways around that, which was evident when Spike was released. Being a pseudo-3D Donkey Kong clone, you must catch the key to your girlfriend's cage, then get to the top and save her. The talking, due to technology being limited on that console for speech, sounds like the pieced-together voicemail that started in the 90s or so; take a listen!



I also have Toejam and Earl for the Sega Genesis, where players can control up to two funky aliens from another planet that crash land on Earth. Earth is weird as hell (why would Earth have a boogeyman?) but it's a funny game, as "you should never let Earl drive", as it says during the intro.

Panic!! for the Sega CD (and then later PlayStation 2, for some odd reason) is nearly beyond words trying to describe. Basically the world has gone mad and it's your job to make things right. It's like a cartoon you control, where you just watch over a thousand gags. If you go here, you'll see many pics, the first three on the right are from the intro: a lady has a problem with a soda machine (if I remember correctly, after she presses a selection, it blasts off like a rocket), the boy's tv throws up, and the guy's motorcycle wheels turn into triangles. If you scroll down, the Mona Lisa turns into a werewolf in another scene, the kid's parachute turns into a sumo wrestler, drinking from a vial in a lab causes boobs to break out all over his body (!), and a whole bunch of other odd sh*t happens. Also, a link to my review on Classic Gaming is on there too to try to describe it more.

So, put in some funny games, in other words. In the meantime, I'll be getting fatter. Don't judge me.

[Mocha]

Hahaha. I remember when I was obsessed with games *sigh*

[Mister Big]

You have access to all the cool games.

[Fatal Rewind]

Nah, I'm still missing plenty

Like Mouse Trap. Good luck finding THAT old arcade game! (just remembered...)

It was a Pac-Man clone with a few twists to it. First off, you're a mouse and the enemies are cats, and you're eating cheese in a maze. A hawk flies around and can be a pain, but the middle section has an "in" door that transports you to another part of the maze and makes the hawk stupid. Also, there are three colored buttons that correspond to doors scattered around the maze that you can open and close, thwarting the cats. Best of all though is collecting a dog bone and pressing the dog button, which transforms you into a dog so you can eat the cats. You'll hear a "WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!" followed by a pitiful little "meow" when you grab a cat. I remember my mom watching me play that in an arcade and saying how funny that part was.

Also, Kaboom! for many consoles was funny as you caught bombs dropped by a frowning "mad bomber". Miss a bucket and the others would blow up as the bomber would suddenly get a little smile on his face...then he went back to frowning with the next round. And then a few years later the same company did a "Kaboom in reverse" with Crackpots, where you played a bomber-like character, dropping flower pots on bugs that were invading your apartment building. Miss six of them during a round and munchmunchmunchmunch, a bug would eat through a section of your building and it would come crashing down. Pretty funny, and Fast Food could use that munching sound, as the sounds were odd and not real convincing for an "eating" game.