Favorite jokes

[beethoven]

Everyone post jokes here. Heres mine.

A women walks into to a bar a sits next to a man. The man calls the bartender over and asks for his special drink. The man drinks the drink, walks over to the window, jumps and flys away. The women sitting there sees this and ask the bartender for the same drink. She drinks it, walks over to the window jumps out and falls to her death. A couple of minutes later the man walks back in and sits down. The bartender looks at him and says "Man Superman your a dick!"

Ha, gets me every time.

[George WB]

haahhaahahahahhahaha

[Wickil]

A duck goes into a convenience store, walks up to the clerk and says, "You got any grapes?"
The clerk says no, so the duck turns around and leaves the store. The next day, the duck comes back into the convenience store, walks up to the clerk and says, "You got any grapes?" Confused, the clerk says no, so the duck turns around and walks away. The next day, the duck returns to the convenience store. The clerk is fed up by now, so as soon as the duck opens his bill to ask for grapes, the clerk explodes, "I don't have any grapes, I will never have any grapes, and if you come back again and ask for grapes I will nail your feet to the floor!" The duck turns around and leaves. A few days pass, and the duck doesn't return to the convenience store, so the clerk thinks his threat works.

After 3 days, just when the duck was about out of the clerk's mind, the duck returns. He walks up to the counter and says, "You got any nails?" The clerk, thrown off by the question, says no. The duck smiles and says, "You got any grapes?"

[darckonquest]

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Eliphino = Hell-if-I-know!

-darc

[Ʈiffanƴ]

One PAYDAY, MR.GOODBAR wanted a BIT O HONEY so he took Miss HERSHEY behind the powerhouse on the corner of Clark and 5th AVENUE. He began to feel her MOUNDS with his BUTTERFINGER, that was pure ALMOND JOY, it made her TOOTSIE ROLL and he let out a SNICKERS, as she screamed OH HENRY! while squeezing his Peterpaul, she said "You are even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS. Soon she was a bit CHUNKY and the result came nine months later, a sweet BABY RUTH

[Jack]

Um.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch!

[♪ *~ Lola ~* ♪]

Lol I love the candybar one

[Moot]

Major funny:

Two irish guys walk out of a bar..

[Wickil]

^Rofl