I'm Friendly or Creepy?

[Len Crobbs]

Hello, I was just banned from a forum for a week.  They said I was a stalker. It is a forum for people with social phobia. There was this one female user who wrote about her experience of being kissed and touched by a man she didn't like while not being able to react because of too much alcohol. She also told about a man who lied to her about pretty much everything so that he can get her to sleep with him and who disappeared quickly after that while leaving her feeling terrible. I accidently wrote insensitive things in her thread and she gave me signals that she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.



Now, the forum has an area where the last 10 or so newest posts are shown, and about 7 or so were written by her. I thought I would be kicked from the forum if I did something wrong, and started to feel really anxious. Then I started posting in many threads where she posted to show compassion and making sure I was nicer, mentioning and citing her sometimes, but they were topics form all different people and not just hers. I was careful to stay polite in every thread where I posted, but ended up getting banned.



I wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading this!



(Feel free to criticize my behavior. I would like to change my behavior in the future so that I don't get banned permanently there.)

[cloud]

I think you tried to do the right thing and I guess they were just trying to protect her if it looked like you wrere following her around the forum. Take the 1 week ban and then don't talk to her again there.

[Ryuk]

Online stalking is a real thing. I guess the staff just waned to keep her safe since she posted about a sensitive issue. I'd leave her alone in the future.

[Perfectly Imperfect]

If they thought you were a malicious threat, you would have gotten a permanent ban. This just sounds like a warning. So, I'd just avoid all her posts when your ban is over.

[Cybrus]

I guess don’t post in so many threads as her? I wouldn't call you a stalker though.

[Len Crobbs]

I will get banned permanently if I mention, cite or write to her or about her in any way. I just think it's hard to avoid somoene on a forum sometimes. Because like even if you block someone, all it does is hide their posts. I wouldn't be able to tell if she posted in the thread.

[Perfectly Imperfect]

Did they tell you to hide under a rock or just not talk to her? Maybe the rule is to just not talk to her or quote her in the future.

[Len Crobbs]

It seems I am allowed to write in threads where she has written. I am just not allowed to talk to her. That is, mention or cite her. Or PM her etc.

[Perfectly Imperfect]

Well then that's easy. Don't quote her. Don't talk to her. What's the issue there?

[Hungry Hungry Hippo]

Do not respond to her anymore, leave her be. It doesn't sound like you were stalking per say. But you gotta respect the staff's decision.

[Len Crobbs]

I kept asking a moderator there what exactly I should avoid. The questions were similar, but I needed clarification, but it seems it bothered the moderator and he gave me a final warning that if I kept asking the same thing he would ban me longer.

[Hungry Hungry Hippo]

Lee, you know why you were banned. You know not to quote her or talk to her. What else needs to be clarified? Post your question here. Maybe we can help you understand the moderator there.

[Unebriwen]

Put her on Ignore and forget she exists. Do not interact with her again on that forum and you won't have a problem.

[Adam D.]

What’s interesting is you were banned from a forum that looks as if it should be more accepting of people with your type of anxiety issues. You would think the moderators would need special training to be able to deal with the members over there.

[Ryuk]

"I accidently wrote insensitive things to her", what were the things you accidently wrote to her?

PM me if they were vulgar.