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Post by Not Shawn Hunter on May 2, 2011 5:53:37 GMT -5
Post some
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Post by Andrew on May 2, 2011 5:54:16 GMT -5
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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Post by I dot my I on May 2, 2011 5:54:27 GMT -5
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Post by Dependable Dog on May 2, 2011 5:54:32 GMT -5
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
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Post by Creative on May 2, 2011 5:54:46 GMT -5
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
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Post by Not Shawn Hunter on May 2, 2011 5:54:46 GMT -5
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Post by Andrew on May 2, 2011 5:54:58 GMT -5
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
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Post by I dot my I on May 2, 2011 5:55:54 GMT -5
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a SOAB
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Post by Creative on May 2, 2011 5:56:27 GMT -5
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Post by ThreadKilla on May 2, 2011 5:58:11 GMT -5
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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Post by ThreadKilla on May 2, 2011 6:02:53 GMT -5
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
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Post by XOXO HALEY on May 2, 2011 6:05:07 GMT -5
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
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Post by Eclipsed830 on May 2, 2011 6:06:27 GMT -5
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Post by flamewolf on May 2, 2011 6:10:12 GMT -5
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Post by Tuxedo Mask on May 2, 2011 6:18:55 GMT -5
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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